ONE WEEK AWAY!!!!

So, its Monday, week 2 of my 1k calorie/day pre-op 'diet', I realize at this time next week I will be 'under the knife'.   Considering all that's swirling in my head, I am in a fairly decent mood, regardless of the fact that I have not had carbs in a WEEK!!  (I'm Sicilian-this is nearly unheard of!)

Excitement, anticipation, uncertainty and many other emotions fill  me to the brim and beyond.  I am excited for a drastic change- type 2 diabetes banished, weight loss (read cute summer dresses) and a whole new way of life. The future looks brighter than ever.  I am the best possible place emotionally, physically and psychologically than I have been for as long as I can recall back to my teenage years (those were some great years!).

Anticipation because I want it to be over with.  I hate anesthesia- really does anybody- and I can never recall coming out of it during prior surgeries.  My husband will be there, I know, to be sure I am OK and absorb any information I cannot but I still hate the thought of going under. There is always the possibility of never coming out of it.  I hate death.  The idea of mine or anyone else's.  Over-thinking this whole thing, possibly...realizing possibilities- very smart.

The uncertainty lays in: Will I lose a lot of weight?  Will I no longer be diabetic?  Will my liver be small enough for laproscopic surgery (6 small incisions as opposed to one huge one from the bottom of my breast bone to my waist- the latter has the removal and replacement of the liver after the Rouen-Y procedure is done)?  Will my surgeon see my humorous statements as the fear that they are indeed attempting to disguise?  Will I be able to follow my new eating habits properly and not have a sugar dumping right out of the gate because I am a chocoholic?!?!  Seriously!!!  Will I have complications after the fact: leakage, blockage, stretching of the new stomach??   Like I said, UNCERTAINTY!!!!!

I will be in VERY good hands at Beth Israel, I know this, that is why the procedure is being done there.  I could have gone locally (Lowell General) but I felt most comfortable going into Boston to have this done.  My surgeon, Dr. Dan Jones, Chief of Minimally Invasive Surgery and Director of the Bariatric Program at BIDMC is a straight shooter, tells it like it is and it knowledgeable and reputable- otherwise I would not put Dave through the stress and anxiety of driving into Boston so I can have this done.  I trust Dr. Jones.  I trust his experience.  I trust my decision to do this.

So, as I am about to have yet another meal replacement shake, I thank you for taking the time to read this and follow my little journey.

~Nichole