4.5 months of UP & UP...and a downer

Weight loss surgery, regardless of WHY you have it (mine was to reverse my diabetes) is a life altering procedure- before, during and after.

Before the surgery you have to be emotionally and psychologically ready.  There is a psych evaluation.  Every time you meet with the Doctor or Nutritionist, they are sizing you up to make sure you will be a success after having surgery.  The surgeon moves things around once inside of you.  Your anatomy changes- no matter the kind of surgery you have.  In my case, Dr Jones dissected my stomach and intestines and re-assembled them.  (More detail HERE about how they do it).  Its a pain staking process.  I was on the table longer than anticipated because my liver was enlarged and made it difficult for Dr Jones  to do what he was trying to accomplish.  After surgery is a whole other change.  Hormones rage.  Food is introduced in stages from liquids, to soft foods, to some solids.  The weight falls off.  Protein is a HUGE intake factor after surgery.  You learn to look at protein contents as opposed to calories.  Calories are important, because they create energy-which you WILL need to heal and get on the exercise regimen needed to keep the weight off.

4.5 months post-op, I am diabetes free, and nearly 60 lbs lighter than I was when my Journey began back on May 5th.  Its liberating!!

I had dinner with my cousins about 3.5 months post op.  One of my cousins, Brian, who is also an only child and we have always thought of each other as more siblings than cousins brought me to some good tears.  He said "You look better than you have in 20 yrs!)  Well, I was elated!  It was the biggest compliment he has ever given me.  After the elation wore off, I started doing the math....20 yrs.... where was I then until now?  I was then 17.  Had just stopped shy of being a professional ballet dancer with the dream of being a Disney World performer.  Then a failed marriage that began in 1999 and ended, really, well before the divorce was finalized.  A couple of relationships (1 a total nightmare) and then I re-found my husband Dave in 2009, and now the happiest I have ever been in my adult life (sans our own children, but that will come soon enough).  

Recently I started back to the gym, and signed up for a personal trainer, Marie.  She is awesome.  Pushes me, but not too hard.  My clothing gets looser by the day.  I did manage to pull a muscle in my back last week, so I am taking a little break from the gym til this Thursday.

Everything is on the Up and Up.... this morning was my downer....I know I shouldn't let virtual strangers affect my mood and my image of myself, but I let myself 'read between the lines' this morning.

I was at the bus stop with the kids I watch in the morning (1.5 hrs- we hang out and we go to the bust stop together- lovely family- the mom is a 1st grade teacher and the dad is some sort of engineer).  We were at the bus stop and another mom started to size me up and down...then proceeded to ask me how old my children were.  I told her that I did not have my own children as of yet.  Then the eyes went up and down again-TWICE- and she said 'OH'.  NOW- I restrained from reacting to her ignorant take on my physical appearance, which, I thought was looking really good today. She immediately started talking to the other mom who had just gotten to the bus stop. Had the children not been there, I undoubtedly would have made a snide left handed comment to her.  But kids hear everything- no matter what you think.   The woman is obviously very shallow, and can take her size 0 and stick it up her ugly ass.  She is no prize, mind you.

Yea, I let her get to me.  Will it ever happen again, NO.  People like her deserve to be beaten with the ugly stick after they've fallen down and hit every branch on the ugly tree because she is an ugly person, inside and out.  I, on the other hand, try NOT to be that person to others.

Thanks for reading...will try to write again soon!!

QUICK post!!

So I had my '3 month' post op follow up yesterday. My B complex levels were down, so taking THAT supplement now and that should help with memory issues that have plagued me recently. 

My bp was 100/60, lost 34% of excess body weight and 16.1% (low-normal range). Time to get my tuckus to the gym, for real!!!! 

All in all, the Dr was very please with me and suggested I wait a few more months to 'officially' try to conceive...no matter when I do conceive, he thinks I will more than likely be on a weekly vitamin drip.

So onward and upward from here!!!

3 months post-op

HELLO my dear friends and family and fans (!!)   !!!

Yes, I have been absent for a while...been getting used to my new body.  Its been challenging, exciting and overwhelming, but I would do it all again in a heartbeat!

I am changing- physically and psychologically- all the time.  I have been able to FINALLY purchase clothing in the 'normal' section...I am hovering between an L and XL typically (tops and skirts) and love all my options.  I FEEL better- Dave noticed I was 'walking a little quicker' lately.  I want to be more active.  I love being out and about now- whether its walking at a mall or riding my bike (its been really HOT here so the bike has been put on the back burner sadly) and I cannot sit still for too long!  Its crazy!  I DO have to be careful-I actually have LOW blood pressure now.  The REAL physical realization (not just by seeing my weight on the scale) was when Dave and I went to Cheap Trick and Aerosmith at the Boston TD Garden 2 weeks ago.  I was actually COMFORTABLE in the seat.  That hasn't happened since I was in my early 20's.   I cannot wait to hit Fenway Park this Tuesday to test my new body in the Coca-Cola section seats (near Green Monster)!!!

Milk products are NOT my friends.  Though I do try to sneak in the occasional treat (weight watchers snack size ice creams are tolerable).  Gerd (acid reflux/vomiting) has occurred when I have too much dairy.  It sucks, but, I get through it.  Now that I know what to avoid, milk intake will be minimized!  Back to soy milk!

Totally gave in this morning- coffee has been wafting past me recently and I gave in to temptation- having my first coffee since surgery (with vanilla soy milk to sweeten it up).  Caffeine IS a no-no so soon post-op, but I had to...it is such a treat!  Caffeine can cause ulcers easily in new tummy pouches, so, its only going to be ONE a day (used to be upwards of 3 quad lattes) and I hope to avoid ulcers entirely!

So, my hair is thinning, its a side effect of Weight Loss Surgery.  Thankfully, I always had A LOT of hair, albeit fine, there was a lot of it.  Now its 'normal' and I am REALLY watching my protein (tons of fish, edamame, cheese)  intake and taking supplements to help me out.  Its frustrating, but, this too shall pass (right, Mom?)!!

Dave and I are going to try for our own baby next March.  Surgeon strongly suggests I wait two years before we try, but c'mon....I am 37 and time is ticking away!  We also have the adoption option on the table as well, but we really want to try for our own now that my diabetes is at bay.  Rumor has it that fertility increases after surgery, which is a good thing because my cycle is slightly irregular now and its irritating!  There had better be that silver lining of increased fertility to 'make up' for the misery!!

Lets see, what else....my boarder line sleep apnea is GONE...diabetes- GONE.....strong self-esteem- RETURNING FULL FORCE (it was on hiatus for a while)...love of wearing a swimsuit....kinda back....never really like it to begin with!!

So below are a couple of pics, will write again soon!

4 weeks out

Hello!

So I am four weeks post op and feel great. I found a little part time job that gets me out of the house on weekdays and close enough to home ans the beach that I can commute. Its an office manager position for a livery business and its a lot of fun actually. No stress. Lots of computer stuff and scheduling and ap/ar....ya know...the things I do!

I still have neck pain on my right side.  I tend to favor it in colder weather....and its been so cold in Boston this week thus far....rainy and gross and no end in site til the weekend.
Dave bought me a new bike this past weekend!  Can't wait to use it!  Will more than likely use it at the beach or on the rail trails locally.

Eating small meals is the way to go after gastric bypass.  If you eat just slightly too much, it comes back up.  I've experienced this a couple of times thus far and its not fun. Cottage cheese and yogurt are my go-to foods of choice because they ate packed with protein and I have to eat upwards of 60 grams of protein a day....my nails are amazing!
 
On another note....Dave and I are not adopting right away.  I am physically not ready to run around after kids for now and we can try to get pregnant in a year or so and will only be 38 (respectively) and can always still adopt at that point. It was a tough decision to make but we are comfortable with it!

So off to work shortly.  Have a great week all and I hope to write weekly as I get into the new rhythm of my life!

Two weeks ago....

So two weeks ago was one of the toughest days of my life.  My surgery day for gastric bypass.  Would I do it again- ABSOLUTELY!!!!

I won't lie- the past two weeks were tough.  The first weekend I wanted to die- awful pain from the 'gas' they inflate you with during abdominal surgery, sore belly, swollen internally from all the incisions and whatever else they did. House bound... it was really hard.  And I know I have said this before, but could never have made it through without my husband, Dave.  He is truly my best friend and biggest supporter.

I finally got out of the house on Tues the 15th and I haven't looked back.  Yeah, I get tired.  I have to learn to pace myself.  That's the hardest part-I feel really good.  Losing about a pound a day.  My clothes are LOOSE...yay for dresses- they are so comfy!  A little bit of walking around goes a looooong way.

My intake of protein is getting better- need at least 60 grams a day.  Its so filling...  with any luck I can resume eating grilled or broiled fish starting Wednesday the 23d after my post-op.  I  miss that.  Sushi too,  (sans rice now).  This has been a total lifestyle change- and I love every minute.  Hoping to get the go ahead to do some yoga and free weights for toning on Wednesday too.  I don't want that saggy skin thing!!  lol  I am also going to look into some dance classes...for real this time.

I also wanted to take a moment and thank EVERYONE, near and far, family and friends, for all their support, kind words, thoughts and prayers.  I am truly a lucky girl to have such great support from everyone.   Thank you!!!!

Now if only all this itchiness would go away!!!

I look miserable...

5 days post op

Hellooooooo!!!


So its Saturday nite, I think, at least according to the web.  


If you are friends w/me on facebook or twitter, or spoke to me on the phone,  you may know some of what I am about to write...if not, this will be fresh!!


So my surgery was Monday- seems like a lifetime ago.  Surgery went well.  My liver was larger than expected, so it was a little bit more invasive.  I was in recovery a bit longer as well because my heart rate was out of whack as well.  Lets not forget about my nasal injury that I sustained 2.5 yrs ago which made it virtually impossible for the oxygen to, well, oxygenate me until Wednesday nite (I think it was then) that I was awake enough to explain to the nurse that I need something different in terms of oxygen- so a misted mask was placed on me til Thursday morning- and voila- my oxygen went back to the 'normal' range.  (I will post about my nasal injury at another time- lets just say its a constant scabbing/post nasal/blood fiesta at all times in there- lets not forget the hole in there too- I can push a q-tip around and thru like a stupid human trick)

 I was released from Beth Israel on Thursday afternoon.  My surgery site is healing- its actually itchy at times- and then the FUN began.  I took a shower with a lot of help from David and was getting settled.  First mistake was to attempt to get comfortable in the guest room.  Like I said, mistake one.  I paced the halls every hour, when I wasn't pacing I actually had to pee (which is good-they make ensure that happens on your own before you are released) then the REAL evil manifested itself- the CO2 that was pumped into me during surgery settled, in of all places, my neck and shoulders.  Apparently this does happen and apparently I have a severe case of it- and of course its one of those things that 'works itself out'.  I paged the covering doctor who explained what happened with the gas (duh, like I hadn't read it online since Thursday nite and David hadn't researched it either) so I am taking the pain med (which gives me headaches tho not as bad) and using a heat patch as well as a travel pillow for neck support (thank you to my neighbor, Sheila, for that suggestion!!).  I can only describe this pain as whiplash- severe, debilitating whiplash.  The gas will hopefully work itself out of me via burping or passing gas or a bowel movement in a matter of time.  


Every moment I am learning something new.  Showering with the neck pain is interesting. Amazingly, showers feel great.  I still can't reach some places- but Dave is here with me every step of the way.


Poor Dave- he hasn't slept well since I have been home; let alone not getting adequate rest commuting to and from the hospital (a good 40 minutes without traffic and lites and morons driving in Boston).  From crushing my pills, to helping me in the shower, to making sure I try to have at least half my protein shake in the morning- I cannot express my gratitude towards him enough.  He is my best friend and I wouldn't be here with out him.   I love you, Dave- thank you for all you do!  


So I plan on sleeping tonite- with lots of luck and tons of meds (which I have to keep reminding myself that its OK to take them because I am in pain that legitimizes it.  No doubt this whole gas/whiplash will dissipate and something else difficult will manifest in time, I just have to remember to take everything in stride.  


Off to watch the Red Sox hopefully kick some Cleveland ass.  Good night everyone and stay safe!!

FRIDAY....3 more days

So, here I sit.  Waiting.  Impatiently. On a rainy Friday morning.  Monday is the day.  The beginning of a new way of life. My dogs sit here with me.  I will really miss them....the chihuahua will miss me most of the two- the poodle loves whoever he is with!  I know my husband, sister in-law, brother in-law and niece will take great care of them.  Will still miss the little brats!  I swear at least ten gray hairs popped out this past (so need to go see my friend Sherry at Eccentric when I feel up to a day trip after surgery) week while I have been making phone calls, sending emails, market runs for  sugar free :(- jello, water, and will have to still buy, of all things, low sugar carnation instant breakfast...I will be on a 'modified full liquid' diet for a few weeks post surgery.  Veggie broth, water, jello, low sugar protein supplement....ugh this is truly a full time job.

Here are two samples given for a typical day of stage 3 (there are 5 total- 1 and 2 will be done in hospital, 3 for about a month after, 4 (which is baby food consistency) and 5, which I will be on for my entire life.  Thank you, BIDMC, for mapping the below out for patients!!

Example 1: Simplified Typical Day
8a       4 oz  blended cottage cheese
9a       8 oz   water
10a     8 oz protein drink
11a     8 oz water
noon   8 oz protein drink
1p      8 oz water
2p      8 oz protein drink
3p      8 oz water
4p      8 oz sugar free jello
5p      8 oz 1% milk
6p      8 oz low fat broth
7p      8 oz decaf tea (yea right- i intend to sleep at nite, thanks)
8p      8 oz of water

I foresee living in the bathroom AND at the fridge with the above....oh let's NOT forget all the chew-able and liquid vitamins and supplements (fish oil included- yuck)

The one below seems a little more palatable and more protein (translate that to I WONT LOSE MY HAIR!!)

Example 2: Detailed Typical Day
9a      1 scoop of protein supplement mixed w 8 oz of skim or reduced fat milk
10a    1 cup sugar free jello
11a    24 oz bottle of 'Propel'
2p      8 oz low fat, light yogurt (no fruit chunks)
3p      1 cup broth mixed with 1 scoop UNFLAVORED PRO powder
4p      24 oz bottle of water
7p      low sugar carnation instant breakfast w 8 oz 1% milk
8p      8 oz glass of water

Did you do the math??  72 oz non-nutritive fluids, 66 grams of PRO, 605 calories!!!  that's it!!!

I guess I can look forward to step 4- the 'baby food' section!  And step 5....I must physically 'puree' any food in my mouth that I ingest....otherwise my new stomach will not process the food properly and 'dumping syndrome' can occur.

Fluid intake, i.e. water, is very important.  Dehydration is a serious issue when it comes to bariatric surgery.  Even though I joked above about 'living' in the bathroom and fridge, I realize the commitment it takes to make the changes in my life with this surgery.  I'm ready.

Can we fast forward to Monday now, Please??

So this MAY be the last posting for a week or so- depending on how I feel.  I will be posting to my Twitter as well as Facebook (for those family and friends) while I am in the hospital, or you can email me. Yay for droids!!!

Stay well and you WILL hear from me soon!!  With any luck it will be while I am sitting in the sun!!
 

ONE WEEK AWAY!!!!

So, its Monday, week 2 of my 1k calorie/day pre-op 'diet', I realize at this time next week I will be 'under the knife'.   Considering all that's swirling in my head, I am in a fairly decent mood, regardless of the fact that I have not had carbs in a WEEK!!  (I'm Sicilian-this is nearly unheard of!)

Excitement, anticipation, uncertainty and many other emotions fill  me to the brim and beyond.  I am excited for a drastic change- type 2 diabetes banished, weight loss (read cute summer dresses) and a whole new way of life. The future looks brighter than ever.  I am the best possible place emotionally, physically and psychologically than I have been for as long as I can recall back to my teenage years (those were some great years!).

Anticipation because I want it to be over with.  I hate anesthesia- really does anybody- and I can never recall coming out of it during prior surgeries.  My husband will be there, I know, to be sure I am OK and absorb any information I cannot but I still hate the thought of going under. There is always the possibility of never coming out of it.  I hate death.  The idea of mine or anyone else's.  Over-thinking this whole thing, possibly...realizing possibilities- very smart.

The uncertainty lays in: Will I lose a lot of weight?  Will I no longer be diabetic?  Will my liver be small enough for laproscopic surgery (6 small incisions as opposed to one huge one from the bottom of my breast bone to my waist- the latter has the removal and replacement of the liver after the Rouen-Y procedure is done)?  Will my surgeon see my humorous statements as the fear that they are indeed attempting to disguise?  Will I be able to follow my new eating habits properly and not have a sugar dumping right out of the gate because I am a chocoholic?!?!  Seriously!!!  Will I have complications after the fact: leakage, blockage, stretching of the new stomach??   Like I said, UNCERTAINTY!!!!!

I will be in VERY good hands at Beth Israel, I know this, that is why the procedure is being done there.  I could have gone locally (Lowell General) but I felt most comfortable going into Boston to have this done.  My surgeon, Dr. Dan Jones, Chief of Minimally Invasive Surgery and Director of the Bariatric Program at BIDMC is a straight shooter, tells it like it is and it knowledgeable and reputable- otherwise I would not put Dave through the stress and anxiety of driving into Boston so I can have this done.  I trust Dr. Jones.  I trust his experience.  I trust my decision to do this.

So, as I am about to have yet another meal replacement shake, I thank you for taking the time to read this and follow my little journey.

~Nichole

SURGERY IS APPROVED BY INSURANCE CO!!!!

So, after 15 days of anticipation and holding back on irritating the sh*t out of my Surgeon's Admin- my health insurance company sent a letter to me approving 1 (one) gastric bypass surgery (like I want it done twice, c'mon!).

This is truly momentous and thrilling.  Having just went to meet with the anesthesiology nurse, having blood work for pre-op this morning at Beth Israel in Boston, its all sinking in...my physical being is about to change- more scars (incisions) and weight loss that will reverse my type 2 diabetes.

If you or anyone you know is a candidate for the surgery, all I can do is highly recommend the gastric surgery team at Beth Israel.  With experience and expertise, they are truly the best hands to be in.

So cheers to May 7th....a glowing day on my calendar (surgery day) and I cannot wait to share my triumphs with all of you!!!

Til my next post- take care!

1st blog

Hi and thanks for stopping by!  

This blog will be my documentation of my Gastric Bypass Surgery to reverse my type 2 diabetes.  Surgery is aggressive and not for everyone, but I truly believe that l have a second chance at life, in general, after this life altering process.  I am truly looking forward to the end results!

I have done a lot of research; reading online, reading my 'workbook' from the hospital where I will be having the surgery (Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center (BIDMC from here on out....www.bidmc.org)) and talking to friends and family that have also had the surgery.  This was not an easy decision to make.  With the help of my VERY supportive husband, the urging of my endocrinologist and A LOT of reading, I determined now was the best time to accomplish this task.

Lets talk about friends and family for a moment- everyone has their own story and some are inspiring, others not so much.  Everyone one of them had this surgery for their own particular reason, from general weight loss to other health reasons, and of course, everyone heals differently after surgery.  Having had a couple of surgeries in the past decade, my body heals fairly slowly and requires frequent rest.  I am comfortable in making my decision and will document it to the best of my ability.

My hope for this blog is to be inspiring to people considering surgery in the future without sugar-coating the reality of the aftermath of Gastric Bypass Surgery.  

So below,  this is a picture of me, today....  I also intend to post regular pictures as well as document my weight and blood sugar tests.